Saturday, January 19, 2013

Smarter Than I Look

To my dear children:

I know you think that I am very very dumb. But let me spell out a few things for you.

1. No one ever knocks on the door that loudly

2. Anytime there is a legitimate knock at the door, you run excitedly to the door, and don't sit there calmly saying "Mom, I think someone's knocking"

3. I am not deaf, although not looking at you, I can hear you knocking on the table

4. I am not deaf. The whispers and giggles are audible

5. I am not as naive as you obviously think I am

6. Clicking your tongue against the roof of your mouth does *not* sound like door-knocking. The change-up has not fooled me

7. Yes, I am ignoring you. I heard you the first 10 times you said it, and I will still not go and check to make sure someone is there

8. I am seriously considering never a) teaching you how to use a telephone and b) ever letting you know what a prank call is

Signed, with {irritated} love,

Your {highly} intelligent Mother

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