FAQ

Here are some frequently asked questions that I am asked with some frequency. I will not only provide you with the questions...but the answers as well. I'm nice like that.

What Church do you go to?
For now, Colonial Baptist Church. Although we still send the kids to Avalon Hills Bible Church for Awanas on Wednesdays so they can be in touch with all their friends. We have been loving the solid teaching at Colonial, but have not been loving the earlier service times (SS at 8:45. Yikes). We love to sleep in:-) We had been on the search for something a little bit smaller than what Colonial is, but haven't found anything, not for lack of trying. We are still very new there and figuring everything out, but thanks to our former upstairs renters (also former youth pastor there), we are aware of a few areas of service and need, so we will see how the Lord directs.

When do you ever see your husband?
Every day:-) Yes, he works a lot of hours. But *usually* he's home by 8pm. And *usually* he's off on Sundays. There have been periods of time where there is an exception to this (like...most of last year, lol!). Working in his industry means there is a lot of uncertainty with the scheduling. We are flexible and we make it work. We usually go to bed later if he's home late, so we can talk, hangout & watch a show or something like that. Those are the days when it's a little more hard on the kids because they don't get to see him. But we have lots of "us" time, and schedule in times with friends, movie nights, game night, dinners etc. It is by no means a traditional schedule, but it we make it work, so we have lots of family time, and lots of time with friends too.

What makeup do you wear?
MAC. It ain't cheap, but it is good! The exception to this is mascara. I haven't found their mascara to be necessarily superior to any store brand, so I tend to buy whatever I can get on sale. Mascara is about the only thing I need to replace more than once per year. Their stuff lasts and lasts! My blush is 2 years old and going strong! - I know they say you shouldn't keep makeup too long, but I don't have sensitive skin and have never noticed any ill effects.

When will you have another baby?
I know, I know. The kids are too dang cute not to have heaps of them. I wish that we would have another (my little Shaughnessy? :-). The balance of wisdom of this. I can't afford to have another child, literally. Our insurance is very high...when I got pregnant with Grey, the plan was for 2 babies close together again. Our deductible was lower than it had ever been at $500. Because of the changing economy Brian's company changed the plan mid-pregnancy, to a $3500 deductible (per person). Because of Grey's traumatic entrance to the world, we had to pay out all of mine, and lots of his too, I think we were at $4500+ out of pocket for that one. Which we did not have and went into debt for (paid off in October 2011, I believe). So, in short, we feel the Lord telling us if we can't pay for something, we shouldn't do it on purpose. We do not make a lot of money, and do not feel a lot of money is needed to raise a family. (We are not saying we can't afford it while chalking away hoardes in savings or anything like that). However, we do feel that the Lord speaks through finances. He is more than able to provide money and place it on our hearts that another baby should come. For now, the time is not now. But it could be later. We are just trying to be wise with the resources we have and the children that are already here. Answer? Only God knows. For now, not now. We will just keep pressing on and doing the best we can with what we've been entrusted.

How do you do it all?
Do all of what?? You shouldn't be in awe of me, because you haven't seen my messy bedroom or closet, lol! Little kids take a lot of time. Six little kids take even more time:-) Oh well!! It's a phase of life. Having productively helping hands and oodles of time are not where I am right now. I have a dinner menu plan - most of my meals I can make in 30 mins or less (not incl. cooking time). It means we aren't eating fancy meals, but we're healthy and full. I do what I can to keep ahead of the messes everyone makes. Somedays I am more successful than others, because I get tired and overwhelmed just like everyone does. I don't do it "all", I just do what needs to be done. I'm pretty easy going so I don't have a problem leaving the rest for another time. I don't ever edit my pics, and I'm a horrible photographer, so I'm sure you've caught a glimpse of my laundry piles or un-swept floors. Oh well! I never ask that question. {Maybe you all wish I'd ask you, so you can give me advice on keeping my house tidier, haha}. I don't ask it, because I know the answer. You don't "do it all", and you know you don't. And I know that I'm in the same boat. We ALL have time for the things we make time for. So that's how I do it all. I don't.

How do you know how to do _____?
My mom and dad. We we raised "the old fashioned way". I can cook and bake everything from scratch, because I was taught - and it was applied - that is the way my family cooks. I am able to "can" foods because I've done it so many times. We were taught to learn new things and grow. I've had great jobs and work experience in the past, and its given me many skills that I am grateful for. And there are so many things I can't do, don't even get me started. I like to keep learning:-)

What do you think about immunizations?
I don't like them. But I do "do" them. Just much much later than the suggested time frames. Grey has not yet had any at all. Kenna and Brooks have had a few (enough to be school eligible actually, but if you wait, you only need 1 shot for X, instead of 3 etc). I do only the ones Brian and I deem to be "serious" and not the "extras" (no chicken pox, no flu, h1n1 etc). I've done a lot of research on this, and am fairly certain that NOT immunizing would be the better choice at this stage of the game. Yes, I realize I can say this only BECAUSE others have done it in the past, and we can "ride that wave" with polio and small pox being eradicated etc. So essentially we've decided on our game path, and I don't judge others for making a different choice, but if you want to know mine, there it is. One suggestion, and this is not a judgment, but a call to action. Don't do something because everyone else does. Do your research and come up with the game plan that suits your needs and beliefs. Assuming something is safe because a doctor suggested it is not wisdom. And I am in NO WAY against doctors or medicine, I believe they are useful tools and should be used as necessary and can be quite life saving (which is why I prefer hospital births to home births - another convo). Do the research that you can reasonably do, pray about it, and go forward in confidence, not fear. (Fear that if you do, child will have XX issue, or fear that if you don't child will die of whooping cough etc). God will lead, guide and give peace to you about each child and their needs. No passionate controversy, please. You do what you know is right, and I will do the same. It may not be the same thing, and THAT my friends, is the wonderful thing about the leading of the Holy Spirit. Look at that valuable life lesson, right there.

Are you wearing coloured contacts? 
Yes. My eyes are really brown. Kidding. I just have really blue eyes, it's a family trait, some of us have really piercing eyes. In the words of the all too kind barely 20 year old man-child cashier at Walmart "Wow. Yo eyes is so pretty. What? They like aqua colour?" uuuh, thanks. Remind me to avoid all eye contact in the future.

We are thinking of having our babies close together, what advice do you have? Is it a good idea?
I'd say go for it! (I consider "close" to be 12-18 months apart). Each person and situation is different, but I do highly recommend it (based on my experiences of being close to my brother(s) and having my own close). Kenna and Brooks are 13 months and 17 days apart. The bummer is that you are pregnant forever! The blessing is that you have 2 babies! Once the youngest is about 6 months old, you really have 2 kids kinda in the same stage all the way along, and that is huge. Depending on how close they are (12mths vs. 18 mths), the older may not be capable of helping you out very much (getting you a diaper etc). And you learn to juggle them while shopping and such (#1 might not be walking when #2 comes, so it's a little like twins), but you get the hang of it fast. The advantage is that they both still nap all the time:-) Brooks and Grey are almost 3 years apart (Brooks was 2, but only weeks away from his 3rd birthday), and of course, the kids are much more helpful and useful to mom at that point - but they also sleep much less and "need" (so they think) so much more. So there are advantages and disadvantages to each. One of the main advantages we've experienced is the close bond Kenna & Brooks have. Life long friends. No doubt they will bond similarly with Grey, eventually, but I'd venture to guess it won't quite be the same. In their memories, they've always been a team.

Where are you from?
I get asked this all the time...people are confused! Here's the scoop. I am from Canada, generally, and the GTA (Greater Toronto Area) specifically. I am of German and Scotty/Irish decent, but Canadian pretty far back. Both my mom and my dad are from the GTA too. I lived in the same house until I got married. After Brian and I were married and living in New York, my parents and some of my siblings moved to Northern Alberta, which is in western Canada. Since then, my parents moved to Saskatchewan, which is still western Canada (prairie lands)...so when I say I am going to see my family, I am usually meaning my parents - although I am not going "home" as I have never lived in AB or SK. So my immediate family is in 3 provinces, ON, AB, and SK now. Don't worry, it confuses me too:-) If I am driving, I am going "home" to ON, it's 12hrs away. If I am flying, I am going way up north in western Canada...it would take me 2 weeks to drive there, so yah...it's a flight...and long ones at that! For the overly interested - Brian is from New York. His grandparents (one side) and great grandparents (other side) immigrated to America from Ireland through Ellis Island, and the families have remained in New York. Although he, and his parents were born in the city, and much of the family remains there, some (like his folks) have moved out of the city, and just live in the State (Albany area) now.

Why don't you ever yell?
I don't need to. My children are perfect. HAH! Well, even though I am loud, I'm really not much of a yeller, really, but I do have the "tone" and "look" of such at times, while lacking the volume. I am definitely not immune to stupidity and tom-foolery and frustration getting the better of me. My kids will bring that out of me quickly too! But I'm learning just as they are learning. So no, I don't yell, that one is "easy" for me, as it's not really a struggle for me. But did I half jokingly/half seriously call my son a Norby the other day? (family term-- when you've done something dumb, like "don't be such a Norby") Yup. I generally feel like if *they* would not do frustrating things, than *I* would never be frustrated or lash out (tone, words, yelling, glaring etc...it all counts, unfortunately). :-D They are being used by God to refine my character, as I am being used by God to refine theirs. Thankfully, they are very forgiving of their poor Momma.

Why do you love names and quotes so much?
Two random things, and two loves. I read baby name books for fun. I am pretty picky about my faves. I get lots of facebook inbox (private) questions like, "what do you think of this name or combo". People know I like names and want confirmation or inspiration I suppose. I get this "trait" from my Mom, who has a similar fascination. My love of quotes...started when I was about 15 I think...I used to save them all in a Word Doc, which I still have and draw from, it's 64 pages long I believe! I haven't added to it in years though, but anytime I come across a quote worth saving and remembering I put it on my blog, or in a new doc I have. I have a few books of quotations that I like to read. I just take quotes out of movies or books that I like, and I used to always have (when I worked out of the house) the Franklin Covey day planner, which has a quote each day on the page...some of them were definitely worth saving. But I'd say, most of them, I just 'stumble across' and save them. They inspire me, make me think for myself, and encourage me. These are qualities also found in a good friend, so I guess we could say quotes are my friends:-)


How do you not go crazy never getting out of the house?
This is a some of this, some of that answer. I truly love my home and family, and don't desire to get away from it/them for a second. So I'm happy to be here. I am content with the amazing things I have. My van is not "big enough", but it's perfect for me. And also, it takes getting used to, planning, and improvisation. Sometimes I have to have Brian pick me up a tomato on his way home from work, because I need one for dinner. Sometimes I google a new recipe because I forgot I don't have any pasta sauce (and Brian will be late). Life isn't always perfect, and for certain we won't starve. It might not be the 5 star meal I had in mind, but it'll work. I try not to make a big deal out of things that aren't a big deal. Save the stress for the things that matter I suppose. I also have a few little outlets to keep me sane. This blog, my crafts, a few shows I love on tv...stuff like that. Sometimes, I will literally not leave my property in 7 days, and I don't even notice. It takes getting used to, but it's not a big deal. Or maybe that just means I already am crazy, and I don't know it. oh boy...

Why doesn't your husband ever answer his phone?
He's busy. If your number is not in his phone he won't answer it, so send him a text with what you need. If your number is in his phone, and he sees your name and can't think of a reason why you might be calling, he won't answer it. Send a text. That is my suggestion. He doesn't listen to voicemails:-) Calling me and asking me to ask him to call you won't work. When he's busy, he's busy.

I could never do what you do.
You probably don't want to. I probably don't want to either. You could do it though. Anyone can do anything they want to do, or need to do. You'd have to "let go" a little and re-prioritize, but I'm pretty sure you could make a go of it if you had to. This applies to all women reading this. If you are a man reading this, you're right. You couldn't. LOL. That is not a slam to the male gender my any means, but little kids, and all the crying that entails...its definitely not something a man would enjoy. It's a little over the top at times. There have been days where I have changed 7 poopy diapers by 9:30am. I call those the "crappy days" haha.

Why do you spell weird, but not all the time?
I am Canadian, and thus-ly use the "real" English spellings of the words. Yes, I know that you all don't spell colour that way. So when I talk to you Americans, say, on facebook. I try to remember to spell things the way you are used to seeing them. But my fb status or this blog are my spaces. And this is me. Saviour, behaviour, neighbour, honour...they just look "right" with a U. Sorry. Old habits die very hard. I'm teaching my kids the "real" way too:-)
**One exception: Centre/Center...usually I just do center. Shame on me. Sorry Canada!

Is your real name Darby or Darla?
This one cracks me up because I get asked this by people who I assume should know. My real name is Darla. My nickname since birth has been Darby (or just Dar). My middle name is Janette, so the Jane is short for that. Should I ever be famous, I think I'll go by Darby Jane as my first and last name. It just sounds cooler than my real one. :-)