Friday, October 28, 2011


Let me start out by saying, I am the oldest of 11 children, we are all about a month shy of being 21 years apart from beginning to end. So I've seen plenty of chaos from a variety of perspectives (child, teen, adult). And plenty of injuries, in varying degrees. Nothing phases me, and in fact, it takes quite a bit for me to even raise an eyebrow at it. No ice packs unless you are swelling, no band aids unless you will bleed on my furniture.

So on Wednesday, Brooks got his hand slammed in the van door (front passenger side). While stuck, he was screaming like a banshee. Opening the door, of course, he was still screaming away. It was literally echoing through our street. And seriously, who can even think and assess a situation with that kind of primal screaming going on? Like the compassionate mother I am, the first words out of mouth were "Enough! No more screaming". And guess what? He stopped. Just like that. He scaled it right back to an appropriate amount of crying/whimpering as I looked at his hand to determine what would be the best course of action, and he stopped crying within moments telling me where on his hand was sore and stuff. No broken bones, and no immediate swelling, perfect functionality. Whew. A trip to the emergency room, avoided! I gave him an ice pack to hold while we drove, just to keep any swelling away. (it never swelled even a little, miracle!)

The "squished" hand. Praise the Lord, it was not broken or really even hurt!
I am very glad that I have been teaching my kids to have self control, even in the worst of times. If he had kept crying and carrying on and on, I likely would have taken him to the ER, thinking there was something wrong, when in fact he's perfectly fine (being 2 days later, he literally hasn't mentioned it again - no pain, perfect function, no bruises)...and a trip to the ER costs us a lot of money with the insurance we have. I consider that money saved a great pay day for Mommy. All the consistent child training, literally paying off!

In case you are wondering the "how" behind the teaching. I don't know if there is any secret, or if I am really doing it the best way possible...but it's just the consistency of not allowing the kids to carry on over injuries or injustices...anything, really. In the injury arena, an appropriate amount of crying is ok, with a pat on the back, and a "you're fine". And then it's "ok, you're done now. No more crying." At Grey's age, he'll also get a hug and kiss, but again, then he's put back down to continue his little life. We don't dwell on it or give it more attention than it's due. If they don't/won't stop crying for whatever reason (tired, don't want to obey etc), they go sit on their bed until they have self control and are happy. This Mommy doesn't stand for "milking it".

Grey is in a stage right now (it's actually laughable and completely adorable, so *I* have to exercise self control in not laughing!), where if he falls, he doesn't really cry much, but he won't stand back up. He just lays on the ground wallowing (hopefully until you pick him up!). "Get up, you're fine", and he just stares at you with this pitiful expression. He will lay there for an exceptionally long time and not get up. I've come back into a room minutes later, and thought, why is he laying on the floor? oh yah...Get up! Oh Brother! He'll learn soon enough I guess. It's such a fun ride parenting all these little cuties. Bumps, Bruises, Tears and All!


  1. Same thing happened to Jay a few weeks ago, in the door of the jetta. I remember getting a toe smashed in our front door of the van as a kid - it HURTS!
    We're much the same, never EVER reacted much to the kids crying over hurts - BUT sometimes I find myself over-unsympathetic. So it's a fine balance! I love that the first thing you said was "Enough!". Must be a first-born thing, cuz that's what I would have said too :D

  2. the all out screeching scream was so loud that Enough! was about all anyone could have said I'd imagine. But it likely is a first born thing! It was way over the top, lol. Poor kid. Thankfully he really actually wasn't hurt by it, other than the initial pinch, which then leads me to, what was with all the screaming?! Haha. I felt bad for him though, and I'd randomly bring it up (when inspecting his hand for swelling etc), like "i'm so sorry this happened to you!, it's so scary you could have been sooo hurt!" And he'd go back and forth between "oh owie, woe is me", and "I'm so tough I'm totally fine" lol. It is a fine balance! Kids are hilarious.