Written December 2021
The beginnings of things are exciting, full of promise of what could be. The ending of things comes with a resignation of sorts - whether you accomplished much or little, whether it worked out or it didn't, time is up. It can feel like a pit in your stomach. It can feel satisfied. It can feel many different ways I suppose, but the same sense of hope you had in the beginning lacks. It's over. If you wanted to change something, it would have had to be before, in the middle place. That's the place where you can renew hope and change course. My ornament this year was my theme for this year - with high highs and low lows, and a couple of do-overs thrown in - all of which I didn't see coming when I picked "A Hidden Life" last January. But God knew what was upcoming, and as with each chapter of my life, prepared me adequately for it. Do not read that preparation as easy, or without complaint. It's not my first chapter - my hope is well-worn. And it's not my last chapter, as the Lord sees fit to bless me with more time - I'm not stuck with any sort of resignation to an ending yet. I still have life left to grow. Just because it wasn't the year I thought it would be doesn't mean I wasn't up to the challenge. He has done a mighty work in my life - and will continue to, even if it looks messy in the middle sometimes. There's always more than you can see, even if you can see it all. A motive. A feeling. An instinct. We all live hidden lives in part, full of unremarkable faithfulness in the middle places. Well, that faithfulness bit? That's a choice, not a given. But ultimately it's good for me to recognize that change and growth and falling forward will eventually lead me to a life I can be happy to say was sustained thread by thread, fiber by fiber by One who is Faithful and True. I'm grateful for this chapter. I give glad thanks to the Author of it for that - because if I were writing it, I might have changed the narrative - and oh how much I would have missed.
***Each year I look forward to adding another ornament to our Joshua Tree. Click the hashtags to read previous years posts, and the explanation of our special tree. #darbyjaneornaments #joshuatreemonuments
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