Joshua Tree Ornament 2024

Written December 2024

 Another Christmas is here, and it's time to add to our Joshua Tree (for how this tree started and what it means, click my hashtags #joshuatreemonuments or #darbyjaneornaments). I love this tree and what it signifies - "in the future, when your children ask you 'what do these stones mean to you?', you should tell them..." (Joshua 4:6-7)

2024
This year we were confronted with a first. And it snuck up quickly. So quickly in fact, that it feels abrupt - that the old saying "time is a thief" feels like it could settle neatly into my thinking. Because we now have 1, soon to be 2 adult children. And I slow blinked when I didn't mean to, I guess. They got big, and that felt fast. As much as that wise old saying feels true, I actually don't feel robbed. Time hasn't taken my kids from me, it's in fact given me more time to be there for them. 3 years ago now, my mom nearly died, but she didn't. We've had 3 opportunities this year alone to spend time with her, a true gift. My dad is getting older, my grandpa celebrated his 90th. Brian and I both faced some health check realities this year. Brian's parents live locally now and we get to spend time with them...it's all a gift. We exist in a broken down - broken up - broken old world. We cannot escape the reality that this world is preparing us for the next one, and the time we've been given to spend with each other, learning, growing, loving... It's all a gift. I am grateful for every single second ❤️

Joshua Tree Ornament 2022

Written December 2022

I anticipate adding an ornament each year to the Joshua Tree (for how this tree started and what it means, click my hashtags #joshuatreemonuments or #darbyjaneornaments). I love this tree and what it signifies - "in the future, when your children ask you 'what do these stones mean to you?', you should tell them..." (Joshua 4:6-7)

2022
This year has been marked with overwhelming gratefulness - for things that are wholly beyond my ability to control. God choosing to heal and extend life. People whose decisions could impact me positively or negatively, choosing to seek wisdom and follow the Lord. People who have chosen to forebear with me and forgive me and deal graciously with me {and my ever developing character}. These are all things that I can't influence. But God has seen fit to have my boundary lines fall in pleasant places. I have a beautiful inheritance, indeed. (Psalm 16:6) Don't read "beautiful" and think I mean every aspect of life is naturally perfect, or problem free - but understand it as beauty, captured.

Forged, fought for, and created. I have seen those days. There are years when it seems like more of a fight; more valley than high place, great effort and little reward. But then the hard pays off and there is a reward. And it's ok to breathe it in and enjoy it. Sometimes though, it's not something you achieved, but something God's grace allowed you to witness and participate in. And that's what I felt more of this year...I was a witness to beauty I didn't create. But I am willingly participating in it, and it's a joy to rest and revel in these things as well. I'm grateful - oh so very grateful - for lines that have fallen quite pleasantly for me in 2022. 

Joshua Tree Ornament 2021

Written December 2021

The beginnings of things are exciting, full of promise of what could be. The ending of things comes with a resignation of sorts - whether you accomplished much or little, whether it worked out or it didn't, time is up. It can feel like a pit in your stomach. It can feel satisfied. It can feel many different ways I suppose, but the same sense of hope you had in the beginning lacks. It's over. If you wanted to change something, it would have had to be before, in the middle place. That's the place where you can renew hope and change course. My ornament this year was my theme for this year - with high highs and low lows, and a couple of do-overs thrown in - all of which I didn't see coming when I picked "A Hidden Life" last January. But God knew what was upcoming, and as with each chapter of my life, prepared me adequately for it. Do not read that preparation as easy, or without complaint. It's not my first chapter - my hope is well-worn. And it's not my last chapter, as the Lord sees fit to bless me with more time - I'm not stuck with any sort of resignation to an ending yet. I still have life left to grow. Just because it wasn't the year I thought it would be doesn't mean I wasn't up to the challenge. He has done a mighty work in my life - and will continue to, even if it looks messy in the middle sometimes. There's always more than you can see, even if you can see it all. A motive. A feeling. An instinct. We all live hidden lives in part, full of unremarkable faithfulness in the middle places. Well, that faithfulness bit? That's a choice, not a given. But ultimately it's good for me to recognize that change and growth and falling forward will eventually lead me to a life I can be happy to say was sustained thread by thread, fiber by fiber by One who is Faithful and True. I'm grateful for this chapter. I give glad thanks to the Author of it for that - because if I were writing it, I might have changed the narrative - and oh how much I would have missed.

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Each year I look forward to adding another ornament to our Joshua Tree. Click the hashtags to read previous years posts, and the explanation of our special tree. #darbyjaneornaments #joshuatreemonuments

Joshua Tree Ornament 2020

 Written December 2020. 

If you've followed me for any length of time, you've probably seen our advent traditions involving the Jesse tree, and then at the inspiration of my late Grandma Shantz, the creation of our Joshua tree (from Joshua 4:6-7, "stones" of remembrance). It's become an anticipated event of my heart to have a new ornament made each year to add to the story of my life. If you've missed the rest, you can catch up with #darbyjaneornaments.

This past Christmas, looking forward to 2020, I didn't really have a massive burden on my heart or anything, but I felt the Lord showing me the theme "Remain". He has naturally always remained faithful to me, and I felt the burden of making sure I was doing all I could to remain steadfast. Of choosing to be faithful, in all the ways he chooses to work. I could never have predicted what would become of the year for me, (and for most of us) as we navigated the twists and turns of Covid19. I think it was Mr Rogers who encouraged children, as a way of bringing comfort in times of crisis or chaos to "look for the helpers". Well, I guess you could apply that same sentiment more broadly - and look for all the ways God is choosing to work in us, through us, and around us. Watching for ALL the ways He is working, whether I approve, or not (because why do I think His plans must be the ones I've already laid out?). For all the kindness He shows, whether I can see it in the moment, or not. For all the areas He asks me to change, and repent, and put in the hard work, when I usually don't want to. I know that 2020 was a truly awful year for most - and in some ways I echo that - I was inconvenienced, I lost precious time with loved ones, and I lost a dear friend. Those things didn't feel great. But in other ways, it ways it was fulfilling. I had a chance to remain faithful to the God who has planned my days and knows my heart. This year, I had a chance to remain faithful to the God who has planned my days and knows my heart. To stay in the Word when I had to 'fight for it' because actually going to church got weird (I read through the entire Bible this year for the first time in my life, and if left me wanting to do it again, and again). To continue to attempt to love others in a manner worthy of one who bears the name of Christ. To show up with whatever is needed for a friend walking through their darkest days. To see that God, in his kindness, has put exclamation points where I would put periods. He isn't finished yet! He is working! It is exciting - and a honour - to remain. As I walk into 2021 somewhat trepidatiously, because it seems these days like I just never know what I'm about to walk into - I know Who I can count on, and that is the mattering part.

Ornament by @cahaburn

Joshua Tree Ornament 2019

 Written December 2019

I started out this year wrestling with questions. Big ones, & little ones, too. The wrestling felt unsolvable, and the questions seemed unanswerable, like a really good mystery. But, I was reading Job (and listened to a Piper series), and it really struck me how Job had the ability to see beyond circumstance into God's goodness in all things - God has given? Blessed is He! God has taken? Blessed be His name! Though I would desire my posture to always be so sure, it often is not. So I had this verse on a sticky note, stuck on my bathroom mirror for the entirety of 2019 "...He reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what is in the darkness, and the light dwells with him.", along with a quote from Paul Tripp, "The best theology will not remove mystery from your life, so rest is found in trusting the One who rules, is all, and knows no mystery." My questions might feel big, but they aren't a mystery to the one who knows all. My circumstance might go up or down, but He is to be praised in either case, because of His surpassing interest in seeing all things work together for my good. These are circumstances not happening *to* me, they are happening *for* me, and that perspective alone should remove quite a bit of mystery, should it not? It should come as no surprise to me, (and yet, I was surprised), that many of my questions were answered this year. That my God is faithful, as He's always been, to bring to the light the idols of my heart and life. '19 provided me a front row seat, yet again, to see firsthand the goodness of the Lord, & the surprising circumstances wherein it is often discovered. To see His redemption, His forgiveness, and His love for His own. I saw answers to specific long-standing prayers, both big & small. It was a banner year, and though it flew by, will not soon fade from memory. I will be blessed for years to come, when I look back on this portion of my life and recall all the ways the Lord worked to move on my behalf, & show Himself strong and capable, and at the very center of it all - slowly and tenderly dealing with me, my expectations, and my questions, leading me to acknowledge as one with first hand experience - He knows no mystery.

Joshua Tree Ornament 2018

 Written December 2018

"That this may be a sign among you, that when your children ask their fathers in times to come, saying, what do you mean by these stones? Then you shall answer them...And these stones will be a memorial for the children...forever" (Josh 4:6-7). My theme for 2018 was Ps 27:13-14. I picked these verses as the Lord impressed them upon my heart in late Dec/early Jan of this year. Before I had any idea of the things I was about to walk through. It was another year of seeing God's mercy in all (2016), and seeing other small parts of the story of my rescue unfold (2017), and hope. A year of disappointment, of truth, of waiting, of hoping, of revelation, of courage, and of goodness. A lot of life packed into 12 short months. But He is good, and He does good. Not theoretically, but actually, and specifically, for me. I wait, and I hope, with confidence and courage. Grateful to be ending another year with lessons & memories that I will carry in my heart forever, and for an ornament with which to remember them by.

Tis Mercy All - 2016 & 2017 Ornaments

 Written November, 2017. 

Some people in recent years started having a "word" for the year. I started having a theme. Something the Lord puts on my heart that typifies my journey for that year. I decided to put each theme yearly, on an ornament. "That this may be a sign among you, that when your children ask their fathers in times to come, saying, what do you mean by these stones? Then you shall answer them...And these stones will be a memorial for the children...forever" (Josh 4:6-7) Because I think it's important for people to remember all the great things God has done in His great rescue of us. And its also important to share these things with the next generations, so that they can see the struggles and the victories that come with living the life God gave us. My Grandma Shantz gave me an ornament each year, from 1979 to 2015 (making them ahead, as she passed in 2010). Every year we take them out, hang them up and talk. Stories about her, about life, about what I was doing that year...in 2016 I was a little battle-weary, you might say. It wasn't the year I wanted it to be in many ways, & yet it surpassed expectations in other ways. And there was no new ornament from Grandma to mark the season. So I made my own (well actually @cahaburn made it). 'Tis mercy all, so rich and free...That old hymn had been on my heart all year, and spoke clearly to summarize the ups-and-downs. Because His mercy to me was evident in my brightest day & in my darkest night. Unshakeable goodness, even in circumstances I wouldn't have imagined, but also wouldn't change, for His loves display was so sure. Could I see that it was ALL a mercy of God? Truly? My theme for 2017, summarized "Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert". This year, this verse has been on display in my livingroom & always close to my mind. He has forged so many "new things", and, instead of my tendency to not pay attention, I was watching & waiting & seeing all the ways He was working and changing me. And that was worthy of another ornament, I thought ❤ #darbyjaneornaments